So as you may know, i've given up the internet during the school week, so if you're wondering why i'm posting this, i have decided my blog is fair game. i'm thinking, writing, expressing, not just rotting my mind away the way i usually do online. yay, rationalization. (email is also permitted, so if you need to contact me, that's the way to do so)
anyways, back on topic...
so the bible teaches us that God knows everything, our every word, action, thought. my reaction: uh oh. seriously, i'll think something and then think "wow, i wish God couldn't hear that" and then nearly hit myself on the head and think "garr, i wish he couldn't hear that either!" there's no putting up fronts from him, no hiding behind omission or a quick change of topic. no thought is safe, not even the wishing they were.
yesterday, God showed me really He could put that knowledge to use. I was walking down the stairs about to go on the computer and be tempted when my friend called to invite me over to watch Heroes with her. I was caught in the temptation, shifty eyed and yearning. But i went, fled the scene. Then i got home and the laptop was just lying around, so i picked it up and took it upstairs with me, with every intention of simply checking my email. But it wouldnt turn on, the battery was completely dead. sigh. In that moment i wished that God would just let me be tempted, but now I am glad he didnt.. i'm getting stronger. Today I only gave myself ten minutes (which is why this blog may seem rushed and incoherent) before House starts, which is enough motive for me to leave and stay away.
God bless, <3
3 comments:
i struggle with a lot of things. and sometimes, i do wish god didnt know what i was thinking of at that time, or heard what i said. though people may think that im such a great guy, only god knows who i really am. i heard somewhere that character is who you are in the dark. god and i, we're always alone i guess, in the dark. its shameful to think of what he could have heard or seen in my mind. but then, it's because of this that i am even more grateful.
It's scary when you think about how He knows EVERYTHING. I just remind myself that he's willing to forgive, no matter how horrible the thought or action was.
I've been trying to work on catching myself before I actually do or say something that God wouldn't favor. I'm doing better, but I've still have a LOT of work to do.
i've had those moments too. i'm glad you pointed them out as evidence of God knowing our thoughts; i get caught in the scene sure only of the fact that i'm in a battle at the moment.
that's one of the things that lately has been on my mind; all my thoughts, stupid, serious, frivolous, faithful, or violating were known by God and he still chose the cross. that's love. hosea had no idea what was being asked of him.
i'm weaning down my time on the computer as well, and what time i spend on it needs to be productive. and house is the only tv i watch. you have good taste.
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