(Note: i am not talking about anything romantic in this post, so dont think i am)
What do you do when the friendship you're being offered isn't enough? What happens when you want more? When despite that you want to grow, you're stuck in one dimension?
Do you continue on, pretending nothing is wrong? Even if it tears you apart? Do you cut it off, give up hope that it will ever get there? Do you tell them, even though they can't change anything (currently)? Or does that just add the burden unnecessarily to someone who doesn't need it?
i know i post a lot of rhetorical questions, but many of these aren't. i'd like actual answers...
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Forgiving Friends
I haven't been doing a good job posting anything of interest lately, mostly just the songs running through my head..
I'm sitting here in french class, supposedly researching french pastries, but I'd rather post. If only I had something to post about.
I suppose it would be a better use of my time to read Catch-22 which my english teacher just sprang on us with only a month left of school. But why be rational about my free time?
So what have i been thinking about lately...
well in sunday school a couple weeks ago we read John 22, where Jesus asks Peter the three times if he loves him. Peter is hurt and offended by the inquiry, but it is necessary for their friendship to continue. It's Jesus' way of saying "you messed up, but I forgive you". I struggle a lot with that, it seems like i never say BOTH of those things. It isn't at all unlikely that i say "you messed up, and thats it" and then hold a grudge but it also happens plenty that i shrug it off with a "that's fine, i forgive you". However sometimes without telling someone the "you messed up" part, they don't even realize it. When i talked to Diana she really couldn't seem to understand why i was upset, that she had done something that hurt me. In some ways that bothered me the most.
Without the "you messed up" there's the chance they don't even realize it, and will continue to do it. Also I wonder how sincere an forgivement can be when just shrugged off or smoothed over.
But of course it is important to forgive. People deserve more than one chance.It is possible to learn from your past mistakes without shutting out everyone who has the possibility of doing it again. I'm not even sure that sentence made sense...
I'm not even sure where else to go with this. There are some conversations I wish i'd handled better in this way, but i can't change those now.
Also, some of you may read this and think i am being hypocritical. If you read this thinking this is me telling you what to do, then it most certainly is! However, this is more of me trying to convince myself of the right way to react, knowing that it is far from how i tend to.
I'm sitting here in french class, supposedly researching french pastries, but I'd rather post. If only I had something to post about.
I suppose it would be a better use of my time to read Catch-22 which my english teacher just sprang on us with only a month left of school. But why be rational about my free time?
So what have i been thinking about lately...
well in sunday school a couple weeks ago we read John 22, where Jesus asks Peter the three times if he loves him. Peter is hurt and offended by the inquiry, but it is necessary for their friendship to continue. It's Jesus' way of saying "you messed up, but I forgive you". I struggle a lot with that, it seems like i never say BOTH of those things. It isn't at all unlikely that i say "you messed up, and thats it" and then hold a grudge but it also happens plenty that i shrug it off with a "that's fine, i forgive you". However sometimes without telling someone the "you messed up" part, they don't even realize it. When i talked to Diana she really couldn't seem to understand why i was upset, that she had done something that hurt me. In some ways that bothered me the most.
Without the "you messed up" there's the chance they don't even realize it, and will continue to do it. Also I wonder how sincere an forgivement can be when just shrugged off or smoothed over.
But of course it is important to forgive. People deserve more than one chance.It is possible to learn from your past mistakes without shutting out everyone who has the possibility of doing it again. I'm not even sure that sentence made sense...
I'm not even sure where else to go with this. There are some conversations I wish i'd handled better in this way, but i can't change those now.
Also, some of you may read this and think i am being hypocritical. If you read this thinking this is me telling you what to do, then it most certainly is! However, this is more of me trying to convince myself of the right way to react, knowing that it is far from how i tend to.
