A Despised Word

The first cd i ever owned was by a man by the name of Steven Curtis Chapman. I must admit that i dont listen to him very much anymore, but i probably should. But anyways, tonight i was reminded by something in one of his songs
"never did like the word mediocre
never wanted it to be said of me
[...]So what is this thing i see
going on inside of me?
when it comes to the grace of God.."

i really do hate the idea of being mediocre, even the Bible instructs us to be either hot or cold, not lukewarm.
God wants us to give our lives to him. All of it. Not just a part here and there. Not just half an hour in my down time. Certainly not the last five minutes of my night before i fall dead asleep.
Spring break is a wonderful thing, and i love it dearly, however it throws off my entire schedule. I had made the decision to move my prayer & Bible time up from the last minutes of the day to right after i get home from school. However, when i'm not in school everything becomes very wishy washy and just whenever i feel like doing things. Sadly, i'm still not at the point where i really desire to read, especially since i'm in the part of Joshua where they are dividing up the land, not a thriller.
I want to be able to stick to it. I was talking to my friend today about "let your yes be yes and your no be no". Make a decision and stick to it. I hate decisions. I hate committing to things. However, some things are important, and are worth sticking to. I dont want to be mediocre, lukewarm or sporadic. I want to be committed to my God whose love i can hardly begin to understand. I want to give my whole life over to Him. I want to truly be able to give it entirely to Him.